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CALL ME KAISER DONGER
hello friends welcome to my blog. my name is Phoebe and I like cats and dick jokes but not together. I also like telling entire stories without punctuation. this blog is a clusterfuck of fandoms and various other pursuits.

Fanfics Everyone Should Read

toastyhat:

spicypepperao3:

Before I Sleep by SplickedyHat

Your name is Rosa Maryam and you grew up dreaming of a perfect family, being the perfect wife, the perfect mother. After the miscarriage at eighteen, you were lost. After the divorce a year later, you were broken. When hope arrives in the strangest possible form, a well-intended but tasteless gift, you don’t recognize it. Not at first.
You did not give birth to your son but he is yours, and he saved your life, and you will never let anyone hurt him.

I highly recommend the tissues for this one because it will break your heart, especially if you have children. It covers a lot of time over a short space and is very clever how it develops things.

A powerful story that is unique in the sense that you do not need the original work to understand it.

Pro:

  • Heart warming and motherly with realistic child development and characters.
  • Story is almost completely independent to the original work, yet is still very close to it as well. My mother read this and understood it as much as I did.
  • Adorable artwork.
  • Does not loose it’s light hearted nature and even the darker sense are very light in nature, it’s nice to have something that is not graphic or dark in nature for once.
  • Descent Humanstuck that touches on real humans problems.

Cons:

  • There isn’t very many references to the time and although it could work as a bit of a timeless story, it does say that it is set in the 1960 and onwards.
  • Don’t want to cry… DON’T READ THIS FUCKING STORY!!!!
  • Might need some prior knowledge of Homestuck otherwise the whole concept of trolls will be lost on you.

aaahhh look at this sweet rec oh my goodness ;u;

1 hour ago reblog 228 notes

nezua:

rubyvroom:

Sorry for the extremely lengthy post on your dashes but this is so important

The world is watching, White America.

FIGHT TERRORISM, STOP COPS.

1 hour ago reblog 41440 notes

cecilfhtagn:

"tumblr is great except for…"

the neo-nazis? the violent misogynists? the white supremacists? the glorification of mass murderers? the blogs committed to telling marginalized people to commit suicide? the pedophiles?

"…the sjws."

ah, yes, clearly it’s the marginalized people trying to get rights. they are the problem here. because they’re occasionally overzealous. or something.

20 hours ago reblog 20225 notes

cultivationartisan:

whethervane:

thescarletmama:

hellzabeth:

did-you-kno:

Source

LEMME TELL YOU BITCHES ABOUT MY GIRL CARMILLA

FOLKS FORGET ABOUT CARMILLA AND HER WONDERFUL LOVE STORY JUST BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T GET AS MUCH PUBLICITY AS OL’ DRAC BUT SHE’S AWESOME

SHE DOESN’T BURN IN SUNLIGHT BUT DOES WEAKEN CONSIDERABLY TO THE POINT OF FAINTING AND NEVER WAKES UP BEFORE NOON (MY SPIRIT MONSTER IS CARMILLA YO) AND WHEN SHE FEEDS FROM LAURA IT’S ALWAYS FROM HER LEFT BREAST. THAT’S STRAIGHT UP VICTORIAN EROTICA YO. SHE CAN TRANSFORM INTO A CAT AND INTO FOG, SIMILAR TO DRAC, AND HAS THIS LONG, BEAUTIFUL DARK HAIR.

YOU CAN READ THE WHOLE THING ONLINE IT’S OUT OF COPYRIGHT AND STUFF BUT HOLY SHIT A STORY ABOUT WOMEN IN THE 1800S THAT PASSES THE BECHDEL TEST WHAT????

GO. READ IT. IT’LL TAKE YOU BARELY AN HOUR AT MOST.

holy shit i am so reading this wtf

HOLY FUCK I NEED TO READ THIS

Once in a while I remember this novel and I just start fucking laughing because years and years ago before we knew her as The Dolorosa, in RPs I would always have Mindfang refer to the jade ancestor/slave girl as Carmilla.

I had no idea this book fucking existed. I just somehow coincidentally named her after lesbian protagonist of the first ever vampire novel.

20 hours ago reblog 168897 notes

fuckyeahhardfemme:

jaxjaxattack89:

whitepeoplesaidwhat:

devmonster:

jasmined:

With Halloween on the horizon, here is Angie Jordan with an important message.

Yes, I’m re-blogging myself.

YUS.

to all the white people with ideas

That last line.

Hey lovelies, I would really really appreciate it if you all reblogged this xx

20 hours ago reblog 65333 notes

fellowteen:

this is the most beautiful and amazing thing i have ever read in my entire life and it makes me so so happy

21 hours ago reblog 119735 notes

inksplattersandearlyhours:

I think one of the reasons the Harry Potter Epilogue was so poorly received was because the audience was primarily made up of the Millennial generation.

We’ve walked with Harry, Ron and Hermione, through a world that we thought was great but slowly revealed itself to be the opposite. We unpeeled the layers of corruption within the government, we saw cruelty against minorities grow in the past decades, and had media attack us and had teachers tell us that we ‘must not tell lies’. We got angry and frustrated and, like Harry, Ron and Hermione, had to think of a way to fight back. And them winning? That would have been enough to give us hope and leave us satisfied.

But instead. There was skip scene. And suddenly they were all over 30 and happy with their 2.5 children.

And the Millennials were left flailing in the dust.

Because while we recognised and empathised with everything up to that point. But seeing the Golden Trio financially stable and content and married? That was not something our generation could recognise. Because we have no idea if we’re ever going to be able to reach that stage. Not with the world we’re living in right now.

Having Harry, Ron and Hermione stare off into the distance after the battle and wonder about what the future might be would have stuck with us. Hell, have them move into a shitty flat together and try and sort out their lives would have. Have them with screaming nightmares and failed relationships and trying to get jobs in a society that’s falling apart would have. Have them still trying to fix things in that society would have. Because we known Voldemort was just a symptom of the disease of prejudice the Wizarding World.

But don’t push us off with an ‘all was well’. In a world about magic, JK Rowling finally broke our suspension of disbelief by having them all hit middle-class and middle-age contentment and expecting a fanbase of teenagers to accept it.

Also. Since when was ‘don’t worry kids, you’re going to turn out just like your parents’ ever a happy ending? Does our generation even recognise marriage and money and jobs as the fulfillment of life anymore? Does our generation even recognise the Epilogue’s Golden Trio anymore?

1 day ago reblog 3849 notes

xombiedirge:

Witch King & Fell Beast by Florian Bertmer / Tumblr

24” X 36” screen print, numbered edition of 180 and variant edition of 85. Available Tuesday, December 17th 2013, via Mondo's random time twitter announcement, HERE.

1 day ago reblog 9695 notes
TAGS: #fanart
1 day ago reblog 6209 notes
TAGS: #emily

midget-banana:

My Commission for Licia

1 day ago reblog 1180 notes
TAGS: #urt

http://roxoah.tumblr.com/post/97746525096/trash-captain-levi-is-the-biggest-fucking>

trash-captain:

levi is the biggest fucking weirdo. like…

  • he’s a fucking insomniac who only sleeps for like 2-3 hours. in a chair. wtf?
  • the dude can’t get drunk (i feel really bad for him srsly)
  • he showers in 3 minutes. wow. calm the fuck down, man.
  • the whole cleaning thing. i don’t……
1 day ago reblog 3066 notes
1 day ago reblog 590 notes
DTHMS.